Reflections on Engaging Middle School Boys with the Manosphere

This blog is the second of a two-part series exploring how to prevent violence by proactively engaging with men and boys. It first appeared here. Read part 1: “Why We Teach Violence Prevention to Men and Boys.” 

As seasoned educators, we’ve witnessed how much pressure today’s middle school boys carry when it comes to defining what it means to “be a man.” From social media algorithms to gaming influencers to high-stakes sports performance, boys are swimming in a nonstop stream of messages. While some of the content can be inspiring, much of it reflects a limited and narrow understanding of manhood, which we know is harmful to young men’s developing sense of their identity.

When the opportunity arose for Prepare to collaborate with Equimundo by piloting its lesson that analyzes and interrogates manosphere content with a group of middle school boys, we both saw an opportunity to merge our shared expertise. We wanted a chance to help middle schoolers pause, question, and reflect on the kinds of masculinity they’re connecting to online. Additionally, we wanted these boys to consider how the messages promoted in this content might negatively impact girls and women.

Equimundo’s approach to working with men and boys to prevent violence stands out for its warmth, nuance, and insistence that transformation is not only possible but essential. Programs such as Manhood 2.0, Many Ways of Being, and Creating Peace provide young people with tools to unpack gender expectations, challenge harmful stereotypes, and practice empathy and accountability in real-life situations. Crucially, Equimundo doesn’t shame boys for what they’ve learned from the world; instead, it invites them to explore a fuller, more expansive version of masculinity – one rooted in connection, equity, and choice.

Prepare teaches violence prevention and has been working in mixed-gender classrooms for years. Prepare’s primary violence prevention curriculum asks young people to reflect upon their understanding of gender and its norms and stereotypes. Importantly, we ask: What parts of the messages you have learned from society about what it means to be masculine or feminine help you stay safer or inhibit your use of safety strategies? Students generate answers such as: “I have been taught to go hard all the time, so de-escalation seems like a cop out,” and “If I don’t seem ready and willing to fight, then I will be shamed for being a wimp.”

Over the past year, Equimundo has been closely examining the digital lives of boys and young men – where they spend time online, the kinds of content they’re exposed to, how it shapes their beliefs, and most importantly, what we can do in response. While much of what boys encounter online is neutral or even positive – fitness tips, dating advice, or how to earn money – it’s alarmingly easy to fall into a rabbit hole of misogynistic, harmful content. We’ve seen it time and again: boys searching for guidance on everyday questions, only to be pulled into influencer pipelines offering toxic advice dressed up as empowerment. That’s why we developed the LinkUp Lab, a digital innovation initiative focused on redirecting these kinds of searches toward healthier, more supportive resources. But interventions like LinkUp must go hand-in-hand with education. We also need to equip youth with digital literacy skills and a critical understanding of how online content can influence their attitudes about violence, gender equality, and their own identity. To support this effort, we created a short, adaptable class plan for educators working with middle school-aged youth.

Prepare adapted Equimundo’s Online Messages on Manhood class plan for boys, and delivered it to students in June. It fit at the end of a semester-long health education program that included content on puberty, reproduction, sexually transmitted infections, consent, and resistance strategies to address risky behaviors.

The opening slide was on the screen as they walked into the room. There were two side-by-side images for them to process: The Liver King, a hyper-muscular influencer who promotes strength, happiness, and health through a meat-centric “ancestral” diet. And the other was a thumbnail of a photo of a teen boy from The Butterfly Foundation: RESET video.

Since young people spend a good amount of time online, they were intrigued to walk into their health education classroom and see something current and relevant to them.

The boys were immediately engaged and talking, with comments like:

• “Is that The Liver King? I know that guy!
• “Who is The Liver King?
• “Who is the other guy?”
• “What are we doing today?”

Straightforward definitions of body image, masculinity, self-esteem, and the manosphere allowed us to discuss the possibility that the manosphere hurts boys as well as girls. The group was asked if they had ever watched any online content that puts girls and women down. Virtually every hand went up. They had watched videos of women as bad drivers, comparisons between male and female athletes, and other overtly misogynistic content.

A screening of a segment from The Butterfly Foundation: RESET video was the first time these boys heard other boys talk honestly about how they felt about their looks, emotions, and the connection of their body image to their self-worth. For example, students were somewhat familiar with girls and eating disorders but had never heard that boys were vulnerable as well, something they wanted to address. Questions around “body dysmorphia,” “cutting weight,” and “bingeing” spontaneously arose.

Next up was reading and analyzing an abridged version of an article from The Washington Post on the rise and fall of The Liver King, a familiar figure to many, gave them a chance to consider the messages behind these online personas by discussing these open-ended questions:

• What messages about manhood is The Liver King sending?
• How do these messages impact boys?
• What is he selling?
• Is it real/realistic?

For many, it was the first time they’d been invited to question the underlying messages and norms of masculinity, rather than simply absorb or perform them.

This curriculum was spot on in its relevance and non-judgmental tone, succeeding because it invites inquiry and leaves room for reflection, reconsideration, and growth. Students (like all of us) shut down when they feel judged. This dialogue-driven lesson, together with short video clips, images, and vocabulary work, can demystify difficult content. It also meets boys where they are developmentally. When boys feel like they’re in a space that honors their voices and doesn’t pretend that figuring out masculinity is simple or easy, they feel validated.

Teaching healthy masculinities isn’t just about preventing violence, though it certainly is a key component to violence reduction. It’s about building connections with young men as they learn to see themselves and others more clearly, and they become more open to a more authentic version of themselves as boys.