Let’s not sugarcoat it: the way we define manhood is costing men their lives. The pressure to be tough, silent, and self-reliant – what we and others call the “Man Box” – is doing serious damage to men’s health. And the numbers are sobering.
The State of American Men 2025 report lays it bare: 86% of men – and 77% of women – say that being a provider is central to being a man. That pressure is fueling a crisis. Men dealing with financial instability are more than 16 times more likely to have suicidal thoughts. Sixteen.
It’s not just a mental health issue, either. On average, men die 5.5 years earlier than women. They dominate nearly every major burden-of-disease category worldwide. Sure, biology plays a role–but the bigger culprit? The way boys are raised to be men.
Most of men’s poor health outcomes stem not from genetics, but from how they’re taught to “be a man.” Staying quiet when something feels wrong. Avoiding the doctor. Powering through pain instead of seeking help. And it’s killing them.
I’ve seen this play out up close. When cancer showed up in our family, my brother and I responded very differently. I sought support, talked openly, and leaned into care. He stayed quiet, pushed through, and handled it mostly on his own. Same illness, same family – but our reactions reflected the very gender norms we talk about: I was expected to be vulnerable; he was expected to be strong and silent.
Masculine Norms Don’t Just Hurt – They Kill. Seeking care is often seen as weak. Emotional control is praised. Vulnerability? Not so much. That’s why men often wait too long–until symptoms are severe and options are limited. The result? Later diagnoses. Lower survival rates. More suffering.
This same pressure keeps men from being the engaged dads and partners they want to be. Our research, in the United States and globally, shows that men want to care, and they are doing more of the care work than ever before. Yet, many feel they can’t step away from their jobs to care for their families – even when they’re desperate to. Lower-income fathers are twice as likely to say they don’t have time for caregiving. Nearly two-thirds say work makes it hard to balance family responsibilities.
What’s at Stake – and What’s Possible. Not all masculine traits are harmful. Responsibility, for example, can motivate men to stay healthy if they believe their families rely on them. But it’s the restrictive norms – the ones that shame vulnerability and glorify silence – that are the real threat.In fact, healthier men benefit everyone: women, children, families, and entire communities. When men are sick, too often it’s women and girls who shoulder the caregiving burden. But when men are mentally and physically well, they’re more likely to share caregiving duties, support their partners, and be emotionally available to their kids. They break the cycle and set a new standard for boys growing up today.
Time to Redefine – Men’s health isn’t just a “men’s issue.” It’s a human issue. A family issue. A societal issue. If we want men to live longer, healthier lives, we have to expand the definition of what it means to be a man. We need to challenge the norms that glorify suffering in silence – and replace them with a model of masculinity that normalizes asking for help, expressing emotion, and showing up for the people they love.
This isn’t about making men less. It’s about giving them more: more years, more joy, more connection, and more care.
At Equimundo, our Make Room for Care campaign is shining a light on the critical role care plays in men’s health and wellbeing. It’s time to leave behind the narrow scripts of manhood that keep men silent and sick – and make space for new ways of being: where asking for help is brave, showing emotion is strong, and caring for yourself and others is part of what it means to be a man.
Join us.
Follow and share the #MakeRoomForCare campaign, explore resources, and help us spread the message that care isn’t just part of the solution – it’s the heart of it.
Because when we make room for care, we make room for healthier men, stronger families, and a more connected world.